this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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