i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
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There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
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you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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