There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize