She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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