I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize