wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
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After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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