Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize