her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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