So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
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Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
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I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
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