so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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