i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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