Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize