Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize