The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize