he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
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What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
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