I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize