my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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