I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We just shotgunned beers for America
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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