ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize