Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
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