there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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