I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
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You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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