also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
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I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
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you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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