im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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