I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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