I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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