Heybabeimwearingurpanties
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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