my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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