i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
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You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
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DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Someone signed my nipple.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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