someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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