Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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