i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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