you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize