my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize