Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize