Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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