i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize