The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize