hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
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Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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