hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a hospital.. check
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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