Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
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I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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