I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
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I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
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My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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