oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
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I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
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he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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