WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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