Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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