Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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