if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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