I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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