If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize