Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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