Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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