We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize